I was recently the lucky recipient of this 1* review on Amazon. It struck me as worthy of note because not only is it not a review of the book, it's not even a criticism of Amazon. It's more of a critique of the customer's own life skills...
"1*: Can't
remember ordering these books. Not my type of subject. Unable to find a method
of cancelling the transaction"
Anyway, it set me hunting through the 1* sections of famous fantasy books in search of similar.
Obviously a certain percentage of Amazon users opt to use the review section for books they've bought in order to review Amazon itself.
The mindset that thinks an author should be burdened with a 1* review because the physical book itself had a crease on the cover etc is not one that comes naturally to me - but there is a level on which I can understand it. So here are bunch of them just for laughs!
Some of these seem to concern books from secondary sellers of used books - but because no seller attribution is given they are less than worthless as warnings. And of course, the author who is getting saddled with the 1* made zero money from the sale.
A Game of Thrones
1*:
This product was listed as Used - Very Good and described as:
The cover may have some limited signs of wear but the pages are clean,
intact and the spine remains undamaged. This book has clearly been well
maintained and looked after thus far.
When l got the book it was filthy. It had coffee stains and general grime
spilled on the cover. The bottom of the book had a wedge torn out of about 50
pages, going the full length of the pages.
Delivery was slow to boot. First time lve used this seller, awful experience
1*:
First delivery was returned
because the product was damaged. Second delivery arrived and is also damaged.
1*:
Where's the
italics?
Great book but the conversion to electronic format hasn't worked
properly and no words in italic font are visible.
1*:
All the pages were falling out. I had to throw
it away. bought a new one
1*:
This book does not appear
new. Bought as a present for my Dad for Father's Day so very disappointing.
Covers are creased and there are dirty marks on the edges.
1*:
The item I received is
defective. The pages are upside down. Obviously faulty stock. I want a full
refund
1*:
Kindle edition - never
received
1*:
I did not order this book no one uses my kindle
got a surprise to see this come on my kindle no one else here to do this don't
try it again.
& one of my personal favourites...
1*:
Is this the first book that I should read first?
The Name of the Wind:
1*:
Am currently about half way
through this book and loving every minute of the story - so much so I am
putting up with the minuscule print! Have been looking for a better copy but
thus far no luck. I refuse to go kindle, I generally love the feel and scent of
paper, this is hideous though... cheap and borrower sized... someone save me!
1*:
Read this book before, so bought to re read for
fun.
Unforftunately this book has been through the wars. I know it was marked as
'used' but Jesus this is taking the piss!
Book is completely water damaged, yellow stuff on the pages, muck (actual
muck!) on the back cover & looks like it been kicked up and down the shop a
fair few times...
Prince of Thorns:
1*:
Opened my
package, where I expected to find a NEW book, and found a copy which was
creased on the spine and at the corner, and worn down. Very unhappy.
I also looked at The Lies of Locke Lamora which had more of the same, but interestingly to me: it seemed that every other review on Amazon.com was complaining of the cuss words, which amused me, as this is a book where a man has broken glass slowly ground into his eyes ... and yet these people cared about words like "piss" or the
dreaded f-bomb. Fuck that! On Amazon.co.uk I found only one complaint. Clearly Brits are less bothered by 'language'. Perhaps if I went on the Australian Amazon I'd find people complaining that there was too little swearing!
Anyway, there you have it. Books judged not only by their cover but by their pages, typography, packaging, coffee stains, and even whether the customer remembered ordering it.
Have a great 2020!