Marketing tips!

I'm often asked how to market a new book. Well, no, that's a lie. But I should be.

Here I am collating the wisdom I've gathered on the subject over nearly a decade in the biz.



MARKETING TIP #9 Even the most dedicated of conversationalists must draw breath, and the words BUY MY BOOK fit neatly into any such lull.

MARKETING TIP #12 ALWAYS LEAVE CAPS LOCK ON. EVERYONE WILL APPRECIATE YOUR DIRECTNESS.


MARKETING TIP #17

Any unattended bag is an opportunity to leave a free book.

If the wallet/purse is also unattended leave a non-free book.

MARKETING TIP #33 Try these easy conversational gambits on seeing any stranger with a book: i) "A book, eh? I too have written one of those." ii) "I see that you like readingBUYMYBOOK." iii) Draw a breath in through your teeth: "See, that's your basic mistake. Wrong book."

MARKETING TIP #41
Invest your time well when visiting bookstores. By careful shelf blocking your can steer shoppers toward your volumes.

Swaying and spreading your arms can help to ward readers from your rivals' sections of the alphabet.

MARKETING TIP #47

A fixed number of words are read in any given year, so in order to secure your fair share be sure to disparage all other authors at each opportunity.