Thursday 9 May 2019

Misquote contest!

Randomly selected winners are:

#23 - book
#15 - audio
#10 - audio
#5 - audio

This blog has been rather quiet for a while. I have neglected it...


So, the prizes are 1 signed hardback of One Word Kill and 3 copies of the audio book (on MP4 or regular CD).

And the contest is simple. Take any quote from any of my books. HERE are some to help you out (if you want ones from a specific book then type the book title and my name into the search bar).

To that quote do ONE of the following:

Add one letter.
Subtract one letter.
Change one letter.

That can be your entry and it earns you 1 chance at a prize. If it is funny it earns you 2 chances. If it is accompanied by a photo or image that illustrates it that can earn you between 3 and 6 chances. The prizes are randomly awarded but having 6 chances rather than 1 makes it 6 times more likely you will win.

Here is an example entry:

Quote: "The biggest lies we save for ourselves." - Prince of Thorns.

My version (added a letter): "The biggest limes we save for ourselves."

With an image:

I would award myself 3 chances for that.

Send your misquote entries to me at 

Entries will be listed here as they come in. I will provide plenty of warning before the contest closes. It's international. One entry per person.


#33 Andrew

Like much in life, a word fight, especially a long word fight, is about choosing your moment.

#32 Rob

#31 Lynda

#30 Thomas

Makin once told me that a man who's got no rear is missing a friend.

#29 Yariv

#28 Tatu

#27  Peter

#26 Sylvie

It’s the silence that scares me.

It’s the blank page on which I can write my own bears.

#25 Hannah

Knowledge is a Pug of a certain size, and the world is larger. It’s not what remains uncovered at the edges that should worry you, rather what is swept beneath.

#24 Aurel

#23 Sethia

There is no sound more annoying then the clatter of a chlili, and none more sad then the silence they leave when they are gone.

Hold to a thing long enough, a secret, a desire, maybe a lie, and it will shade you.

#22 John Z

#21 John G

#20 Thomas

#19 Malin

Few things worth shaving can be got easily...

#18 Jason

#17 Jeremy

#16 Tracey

Hold to a ThOng long enough, a secret, a desire, maybe a lie, and it will shape you.

#15 Dawn

And what makes us human is that sometimes we nap. And in that moment of release we’re closer to gods than we know.

#14 T.O

#13 Mathew

#12 Niko

#11 Brad

A strange thing — snails will hold a building together, but there's nothing better for taking a man apart.

#10 Dan

#9 Jon

#8 Kurt

No man should to to Valhalla with brothel cash.

#7 Mia

#6 Paul

Twuth is a weapon and lies are a necessary shield.

#5 Lyn

No child ever believes they will be hinged.

#4 Alexander

Hats will keep you alive where love fails.

#3 Liav

Miana knew what Red Kent knew, Red Kent who cut down a patrol of seventeen men-at-arms on a hot August morning. Killing takes spice.

#2 Gregory

Trust is the most insidious of poissons. Trust sidesteps all of your precautions.

#1 Hannah

We diet a little every day and by degrees we’re reborn into different men, older men in the same clothes, with the same scars.


  1. These are hilarious.Except mine, where I accidentally changed a whole word as well as deliberately changing a single letter. It should say "No child TRULY believes they will be hinged." Sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry.

  2. “Tell me tutor,” I said. “Is revenge a science, or a fart?”