Wednesday, 29 July 2015

Zombie Apocalypse - the contest!


It has come to my attention that many fantasy readers have the odd sword or axe lying about...

That got me thinking. If this happened...

...what thing in your house would you reach for to fend them off?

Send me a photo of it for one chance to win, or an action shot of you holding it for two chances.

Prizes? Of course prizes! I'll randomly award 3 signed Prince of Fools paperbacks, and a signed UK Prince of Thorns Advance Review Copy (ARC) to four lucky entrants (remember, an action shot of you plus weapon/improvised weapon doubles your chance).

Winners = #51 #33 #25 & #11 (ARC)

Many thanks to everyone for entering - some brilliant photos there. I feel sorry for the zombies!

My added snark is intended to raise a smile, all entries welcome, no offence intended!

#51 Laura - would grab her shock trooper!

#50 Adam - would grab his trusty clothes horse, using its wedge-shape to ... um ... push through the zombie hordes... Let's face it, some of you lot just want to be zombies.

#49 Daniel - would reach for this hefty figure which in turn wields its own axe

#48 Radoslav - selects a .. uh... cat.

#47 James - chooses a blunt instrument to bludgeon his foes with.

#46 Tracey - and daughter team up. And that's a sword made out of a tank!

#45 Colin favours the broadsword and chainmail combo. Bite that zombie!

#44 Rocus - goes beyond the pale, deploying one of the cruellest weapons known

#43 Giannis - shows how zombies are traditionally welcomed in Greece

#42 Jono - knows how to split melons!


#41 Lucille - buys the fat books for more than just reading - they're great for hand-to-hand combat!

#40 Penny - knows that music calms the savage beast, and hopes that music stands harm the savage beast...

#39 H - goes for the little and often approach

#38 Deborah -finally, someone who really knows how to party with zombies! Chainsaw!

#37 Kate - plans to offer a delicious entree to cover her own escape out the back. Smart move!

#36 Chris - simple is good.

#35 Austin - ready for the head harvest, with scythe and dagger.

#34 Eduardo - has opted for the ashandarei with the war-hammer on the wall as backup

#33 Naomi - hopes to be cast in the Wacking Dead.

#32 The Board Game Guys - go for efficiency over style. Head shots only, remember!

#31 Anthony - favours the big sword approach.

#30 Laura - and cricket bat. Laura may well be the first person in WWZ to die from 'having watched Shaun of the Dead' but sure surely won't be the last.

#29 Coen - his nerf sniper gun would require some ... modification. The katana on the table would be for any zombie unphased by a foam projectile.

#28 Ally - showing that wooden swords are more useful than a chocolate teapot

#27 Darcy - would opt for a chair. A green one.

#26 Edd - knows that one sword might be good for a few zombies, but for a whole horde you need at least four.

#25 Andrew - knows the pen(cil) is mightier than the knife. Both pictured here with a piece of A4 for scale.

#24 Gerard - has an eye for a very sharp chisel when zombie-carving.

#23 Michael - has a handy dagger...

#22 Stephen - (clearly a man with deep pockets) would reach for his trusty pocket-knife.

#21 Lee - knows that the smart money is always on the light sabre. At least until the battery runs out...

#20 Daniel - would eschew a thousand years of technological development and pass over his bow and arrows in favour of a stone affixed to a stick.

#19 Sabrina - hails from Switzerland where rifle training is mandatory. If the zombies make it through the wall of bullets and don't get worn out by all the steep slopes then it's fondu forks at the ready!

#18 Jennifer - has a wider than usual range of kitchen knives

#17 Tracey - with her moisturiser and apparent concern for zombies' early wrinkling issues demonstrates that zombies might have a positive impact on the gene pool...

#16 Gabrielle - an antler happened to be closest - not ideal perhaps but she's sure the zombies will get the point.

#15 Logan - would opt for the closest rather than be eaten while trying to decide which of his four swords to use.

#14 Robin - has a more traditional view of home defence

#13 Salman - puts his (short-lived) faith in insect spray

#12 Justin - fends off this particular zombie with a banana. I'd say a plantain would be better...

#11 Dan - opts for the classic baseball bat and hatchet combo.

#10 Rebecca - would grab Needle and Long Claw! Because she's METAL.

#9 Robert - will be fine if the zombies' heads are attached to their necks by a giant nut...

...or are vulnerable to crushing in any way ... ok, he'll be fine. Good choice, sir!

#8 Chane - improves on the pillow (thanks Pen) with two candlesticks. Sadly they look to be made of glass... admittedly they do each have a very small spike at the middle and with a great deal of luck one might take out both a zombie's eyeballs with them...

#7 Pen - Joins the ranks of zombie fodder with this ill-considered choice.
 "The Well Rested Warrior

Because let’s face it, I’d be just as useless with a real weapon – might as well take a nap."

#6 Roodie - I'm not sure he's getting this. When the zombies come Roodie = Foodie.
Though perhaps he's been inspired by the game Plants vs Zombies!

#5 Dingo Dave would reach for his trusty katana!

#4 Tom, and a cunning ploy to machete off his own head to deny the zombies the pleasure of killing him!

#3 Shannon illustrates my suspicions about fantasy readers!

#2 Alicia keeps her bow at home, but this action shot (pun intended) is outside. Remember, headshots only, or all you're doing is furnishing them with defensive spines.

#1 LS believes that her cat, Loki, has "magic kitty eyes" and would save her. So she'd grab him. Here we see zombies as agents of Darwin...


  1. Will wee have a list of all submitted pictures (for fun), just like with the bookstacking/funny author contest?

  2. Short-lived? Oh well, fair enough I guess.

  3. 'Short lived'? Oh well, fair enough I guess.

  4. If your chosen zombie defense tool doesn't include the phrase "40mm grenade launcher", then you're doing it wrong.