This year's SPFBO has produced 10 excellent finalists, and in due course each of the ten blogs will read each of the ten books, producing a champion for us and ranking all the books with a score.
Judgemental? Yes. But that's what draws the eyes that self-published books need if they're to do well.
I thought I would take a look at the first line (or lines) of each of the finalists and give my thoughts on them. Since judgements are what people like, I'm going to order them to find which is my favourite, and then, totally tongue-in-cheek predict the order the blogs will score them based purely on this inadequate assessment.
Last year my choices for 1st, 2nd, & 3rd best opening lines came 3rd, 1st, and 2nd in the contest.
So here they are in the order that their first line captured me (saving the best to last). Just the first line. The second and third etc may redeem or betray the start, but my ranking is based on what leads up to the first period.
Note, that of course while all authors strive to make every line good, a book whose first line, paragraph, or page are not immediately hooking the reader can still sink those hooks to great depth over the long run and prove to be astounding reads.
The reason I focus so much on the opening in my analysis is two-fold:
i) it's easy to do!
ii) modern readers are so easily distracted that grabbing them early can be a very good strategy - too slow and many of them may bail on you.
Despite my success last year, it is of course, a silly exercise. The authors are at the mercy of grammar among many other factors. Here's how my own debut opens:
“Ravens! Always the ravens. They settled on the gables of the church even before the injured became the dead.”
The first line is "Ravens!". With some judicious commas I might have combined the first 3 sentences into one and at least had some content for such an exercise. But I didn't.
By Blood, By Salt
This is almost weather, and they say (as do I): don't open with the weather. Many writers feel drawn to 'it was a dark and stormy night' but it's a dark and stormy path to take! 'South City' feels generic, but frankly any place name in line 1 is probably ahead of its time.
The Oathsworn Legacy
Low on content, but it seems to promise a contemplative story, or perhaps one delivered by a narrator who is looking back on a tumultous past.
RunelightThis one is reminiscent of line 1 from The Oathsworn Legacy, though it's shorter and more punchy. Seven decades promises a very old human narrator, or some other race/creature. Still, it's not a lot to work with. It hints at a conflicted, self-critical narrator, which can be interesting.The Humane Society for Creatures & Cryptids
So, technically, line one is "Damn it!" But I will be merciful. "Coughed" is almost a dialogue tag - "spluttered" could definitely be one. "Damn it!" is dialogue (always good early on) and it carries a sense of urgency/tension. I instantly wonder what the problem is. The place is on fire (shades of the very memorable opener 'The building was on fire and if wasn't my fault.' from Jim Butcher). That's interesting. We have a problem. Problems are great. Our character is in danger but they're being proactive (reaching for the extinguisher). It's a good start.
The Wolf of Withervale
Two similes in line one! But I like them both. Would have put "grass" rather than "grasses". One option with the start of a book is to show off a command of language that promises the reader more to come and displays your literary wares. This does that.
Gates of Hope
Committing a once immortal race to slow, unstoppable death was never an aspiration of mine, but sometimes we must do what is right, not what is comfortable.
This covers a lot of ground for a single line, and has a number of good points. My own taste is for something personal, and we get that - it's about the first person PoV, revealing some aspect of their character. Moreover we're handed several questions: how is this immortal race to be slowly killed? how is it in the PoV's gift to do so? how is it right? And the structure of the line is nice too.
Mushroom Blues
“No good day ever started with death before coffee.”
The line carries some humour and gives a feel for what's to come - it's a bold and deliberate opening that doesn't take itself too seriously.
The Forest at the Heart of Her Mage
There's a distance in the two-name introduction, but I do like this line 1. It does what the five line 1s I've read before this one do not do. It prompts questions. Why so long to find? How does she know it's a first draft? What's in it? How did the grandmother die? Questions are good. Obviously we don't need them in line 1, but early on is (I feel) important. You need to make me turn the page.
The Tenacious Tale of Tanna the Tendersword
This feels as if it delivers bags of the oncoming story's character. There's irreverant humour straight off. This Galdifort Quillpen (I excuse the surname as it's informative and also builds his dignity) has an importantish job and now he's on his backside in the mud. The careful choice of words all serves to build and then undermine the character's authority in a very short space.
The 'problem' isn't epic and the questions posed aren't demanding answers, and the prose isn't sublime, but if you're not going the problem or questions or prose route, then giving a strong flavour of the book is another fine choice.
By A Silver Thread
This is a hook! It's a short, punchy hook. I have lots of questions. They're nurses, so we immediately suspect that the 'monster' is human. So what makes them a monster? Why are nurses involved at all? What compels them to deal with this monster? What's wrong with the monster? Is it a serial killer in hospital? An actual monster in a fantasy setting. I would read on.
