Tuesday 7 February 2012

King of Thorns - fragments, part (ii)

Almost nothing was cut from King of Thorns in editing (quite a few additions). The only real casualties were small fragments from the view points of people in the background/scenery of the story. These were to nestle between chapters and put a human face on a grand conflict. In the end it was felt they distracted from / diluted the main thrust of storytelling. These cuts are among the bits & pieces I'm releasing as we... hurtle... toward August.

This is the first:

Sorren Hammerson, seventeen, arrow shot. Tellan slopes, below the Haunt.

Son of William and Sereh, raised in Northdean, Renar.

The arrow pinned him to the moment, and Sorren fell, knowing that for all his life he and the arrow had been racing toward each other.

He fell. His head bounced once and his helm clattered away. A last breath left in a crimson spray of surprise. Sound faded, bowstrings thrummed into silence, the sky bright and wide, filled everything. He had wanted to be a farmer. He had wanted Milly Turner. The sky narrowed to the gleam of her hair. Narrowed again. Gone.


  1. Agree with >Laure Eve<: Love it.

    As I read it I thought: How do you do this? It's only twelve sentence long but it felt longer, much more like it is a story in itselve, much more alive - MUCH more alive as it should has felt if you think about the theme -, a picture pop up in your mind and kept lingering, it felt real - as if I stand next to the scene - and then again: Just twelve sentences. TWELVE!!! I'm seriously jealous! And again I ask myself: How does he do this in only twelve short sentences and ... why can't he write thirteen???
    Just fun ... But I would really like to read thirteen sentences ... *laugh*

    As always greeting from me

  2. Sounds like you're the same as me, Mark. I've seen the work of other writers on my editor's desk with paragraphs and sometimes whole pages just crossed out yet, whenever my stuff goes through the editing process it always comes out a few thousand words longer.